Well, I obviously didn’t feel the need to post daily for too long! Last week was terribly busy and I just didn’t make it back.
We started having our weekly staff meetings last week (never been in on those before) and I spent much of the week getting everything organized for worship. We filed all of the charts, added a few new songs to the mix, and got new bins to file everything in. Then came the finding of music, pulling the charts, making sure there were enough for everyone (I was a couple short - oops!) and mentally preparing myself. Actually, most of that was Tuesday. Big day now, Tuesday…
Then there was the making of new buttons (like them?) that was just for fun… and learning how this new program that I found for organizing the flow of worship on Sundays and scheduling people, etc. Well, I think I’ll be learning that for a while! It’s very cool though. Very cool indeed.
How is it that my days are busier with the girls at school than they were with them home? I just don’t get it. There is much sewing to do, emails to check & return, updates to make, drawings to hold, flowers to make… the list goes on and on. And I haven’t even mentioned the housework side of life! How is life so full of busy-ness?
Friday was Tami’s birthday, so we headed down there to help her celebrate. As luck would have it (or was it Murphy’s Law) as I went to grab her present (that had been put together last week) I couldn’t find half of it! This is just not right! So, I took what I could find, and I will have to get the rest to her another time. Grrrrrr.
Saturday was fun though. The kids had a great time playing outside with their cousins, and although there was the scare over Pepper eating a toy golf ball (turns out he just munched on it thankfully!) all in all it was a good time. G-man even figured out how to drive the jeep! It took him a time or two of someone showing him how to change the gear from forward to reverse, but he eventually got it & will now be tearing up Grandma’s nice, pretty grass. Sorry Mom! He even too his little sis for a couple of rides… but he’s just not ready to let her drive!
Oh, and I read my first Anne Rice book last week. Overall, an enjoyable read… although I could have done without some of the detail in… er… certain scenes. I really don’t need to know what color certain parts of anatomy are! I have some, I know what they look like, I don’t need a description! Other than those parts - and the main character being attracted to both men & women - it was a good read. Not something for the under 18 age group… we don’t need to add any fuel to those hormonal fires! Oh, it was Blackwood Farm for those wondering.
Now I want to read Twilight even more.
The girls & I partied last night & had pizza, soda & watched Penelope. Cute movie, good message. M was a little freaked afterwards over the sketch that was put in the paper and the imaginings of one of the characters, but she enjoyed it nonetheless. Just know that if you have a kid that will easily get nightmares, there are a couple of scary images. Once again, I was left impressed by the acting of James McAvoy. Christina Ricci was also fabulous.
And the preview for Twilight makes me really want to read it before it comes out!
I’m on the waiting list at the library for Twilight… number 650 or so in line. Perhaps in 3 years it will be available! I guess I will have to look at alternate venues. I was hoping that my outright telling that I wanted it would be enough…
“Honey, twilight is just $8.95 at target. That’s what I want for my birthday.”
“what is twilight?”
“a book about a human & vampire falling in love. the movie comes out in december. I really want to read it. Ther is a series of 4 books, but I just want the first for now.”
not a blatant enough hint? Or was it just that I didn’t give him the chance to stop by the store to get it. Or the fact that we are broke. I can’t go buy it… that would violate the terms of the compact that I joined. I must admit that the temptation is quite high to drive to Target and get it though.
Then, of course, there are the questions of whether I really should be reading vampire stories so much… now that I am on staff at church. Drinking of blood a definite no-no. High levels of sexuality are a big part of the vampiric legend. But all the same there is something very alluring about the mythos of the vampire, vampyr, however you choose to spell it. Dracula, Draco… whatever you want to name it. Yes, I was an avid Buffy fan - I have the soundtrack from “Once More With Feeling” and think that Spike should win Buffy’s heart because a) angel gets evil and b) spike actually pursued the regaining of his soul to try to win her. The truly heartless creature sought out a heart to fully feel the depth of his love for her. Proof that love will conquer all - good will win out over evil.
But I digress.
And my fingers are getting sore.
I decided yesterday that I should gain at least a rudimentary knowledge of the guitar if I am to be leading worship. How is it that so many people play this instrument of left hand torture? OW! I know, you build up calluses over time… but what do you do until those get built up? Between having to chop off my nails and having fingers that are crying out in pain, I’m having second thoughts about this decision. Honestly. Third thoughts even.
But I know that it is important.
It’s also the reason that I broke down and bought a new cord for the keyboard… and actually sat down to re-learn to play the darn thing. The right hand remembers… I wonder if the left ever actually learned. I was pleasantly surprised at how much came back - and how quickly. I almost think that I can play better (right handed) then when I was actually practicing so much in college. The left hand, however, has some catching up to do, and I will not be playing for an audience larger than E & the girls for a long while - if ever. I still have to get past the whole “the piano is my nemesis” mental block that I created 12 years ago. It was that dang test. Grrrrr.
Personally, I think I am much better at the keyboard that I am currently playing the keys on… and my left hand is quite proficient at it! Words flow across the page so effortlessly… well, other than the typos that you don’t get to see! But, that’s not terribly useful in leading a worship team. All I have at this point is my voice and God. It’s the God part that makes it all work - I certainly have nothing to offer! Each week I have to place it entirely into His hands and trust that it will come across to the team and the congregation in the way that He wants it to… for practice, for church, for putting together the song list, for everything.
it is hard to do that.
but i am learning… slowly.
I know it’s a streatch, but Matt 6:33 seems like it can apply:
“Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and all of these things will be added unto you.”
I know that it is talking about the fact that God will provide for our physical needs, but I think it goes beyond that. He will provide for our EVERY need - physical, emotional, spiritual, mental, whatever we have a need for, He is there to provide. We just need to seek Him and His will for our lives. We need to wait on Him, read and re-read His love letter to us, His Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth…
We are all created to be worshipers. That is why we were created - to worship our Creator. Everyone worships something, we are given the freedom of choice as to what that something will be. God could have created an army of drones that will bow down & pay homage to Him… but then he wouldn’t be worshiped. True worship has to come from the heart. It cannot be forced.
Worship and love are so similar in that way - it has to be freely given from the heart. It comes out of a choice, out of a relationship, and out of a desire. You cannot force someone to love you - in fact, if you tried to do that, the very opposite would happen. You also cannot make them love you simply by loving them - if that were the case, there would be no divorce, all children would clove their parents, and every human being ever created would be sitting at the feet of Jesus. God loves us - every one of us. Whether or not you love Him back, He loves you. He sent His Son to die a torturous death to prove that love He has for you. When He looks at His children, He looks at us through the filter of Jesus - thankfully! Without that filter, I would never have a chance.
These are things that I often forget to remember. They are always there in the back of my mind, but I don’t always remember the truth that they shine out. God loves me. He created me for a purpose. He gave me certain gifts and talents fo prepare me for the destiny that He created me for. Does he need me? No. Is he allowing me to take part in His plan? Absolutely. He loves me enough to let me be a part of His plan. To let me be a part of pointing people to Him, to help them in their worship of Him.
this is humbling. and it should be!
Why has the God of the universe allowed me - called me - to be a part of His plan? I can’t say. But He has, and I am so thankful. He has put me where I am to do what He has called me to do. I know that I am not worthy. I know that I am not up to the task! But with His power I can do it. Through Him I can do anything that He calls me to do. Even lead a congregation to the foot of His throne, where I can have the privilege of being among the first to fall facedown in worship of the the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, the creator of everything.
Thank you God for this privilege. Thank you for calling me. Thank you for equipping me to do Your will.
Thank you for the reminder…