Christmas and all it’s Trappings

The Christmas season is upon us, and with it comes heaps of “extras” that never had anything to do with the traditional holiday.  Prepare yourself – I may come across a bit offensive here…

I am a Christian – I have never tried to hide that fact – and as such, I believe that Christmas is the celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ (whether he was actually born in December or September being set aside).  This time of year can be very frustrating for me, as I see this wonderful celebration being tainted by consumerism, over-spending, the idol of self, and a fat man in a red suit.

Yes, I said it, I don’t like santa clause.  I think that lying to your children year after year is setting yourself up for a confrontation.  Why is it suddenly OK to tell a lie?  Do we really expect our kids to understand that it’s “not really a lie” when yes, it actually is.  Why the double standard?

Let’s make it more challenging, shall we?  I don’t like the idea of SC, but my mom… well, she was adamant that the girls believe in jolly ol’ st. nick.  Every year she gets them some over the top gift “from Santa” and force feeds them the line that santa is real.  Have I told her that I don’t want to tell them this?  yes.  Did it matter?  Apparently not.

My youngest has not believed for a few years now – she asked me and I refused to lie to her.  I put the ball back into her court though – she asked if he was real, and I asked her what she thought.  After thinking about it for a minute or so she decided that the whole idea was a little too out there.  She didn’t believe in Santa – after all (in her words) Christmas is about Jesus, isn’t it?  Praise God!  Yes, I told her, Christmas is about Jesus.  She was concerned for her big sister though – M believes, oh yes, she believes!  After all, Grandma told her that it’s true, so it must be.

Yes, I’ve heard all of the arguments… “it’s just a fun thing to do” and “do you really want your kids being the ones at school telling the other kids he’s not real?” (um… yes?) “It doesn’t hurt anything” and my personal fav “but YOU believed in Santa, why are you taking that away from them?” ugh.

Let’s tackle these comments, shall we?

It’s Just A Fun Thing To Do:  yes, it’s big fun, and it creates little tyrants that are so focused on themselves that they can’t see the world around them.  They live life looking in a mirror rather than looking out at the world around them.  They get so focused on “Me, me me” that they have no compassion for their neighbor.  That sounds like loads of fun.   Not.

Oh, and let’s not forget the year that some kid (possibly mine) tells them that their parents have been lying to them all of these years.  “yes, of course you can believe everything I tell you!”  “But you told me Santa was real (and the tooth fairy, easter bunny, etc)”  “Oh, but that was just for fun!  I wasn’t really lying to you!”  Hmmm… sounds like a double standard to me.  The whole “do what I say, not what I do.”  Nice.

Being the parent of the bubble bursters… honestly, I don’t mind that one a bit.  My youngest is rather known for speaking her mind… I think her teachers expect it these days.  In case you’re wondering, we don’t celebrate halloween either, and she will tell them why every year.  And no, I haven’t gotten a phone call yet – from parents or teachers.

It Doesn’t Hurt Anything:  well, other than their trust in you to always tell them the truth, and teaching them that it’s OK to put something else in front of the truth of Jesus.  Oh, and teaches them that it’s OK to lie if it makes someone else happy.  Our society has replaced the truth of Jesus birth with the lie of a fat man in a suit that brings more junk into our homes.  We have taken humility out of Christmas and replaced it with sacrifices to te idol of self.  No, it doesn’t hurt anything at all, does it.

Then we come to the age old “but YOU got to have the fun of Santa, why are you depriving your children of that same joy?”  Yes, this one is usually from the grandparents who don’t see any issue with the fat guy.  After all, they promoted the lie, and if you don’t continue that “tradition” you are saying that they did something wrong.  Yes, I was raised with Santa.  Yes, my mom LOVES the idea of santa – no, she really loves it.  I still had unwrapped presents laid out under the tree when I was 18.  Seriously.  I honestly don’t know why she loves it so much, but she is the one that refuses to give up believing well past the bitter end.  I love her dearly, and I am thankful for her, but I just don’t get it.  And when I voiced my opposition to the whole santa thing, I was in deep trouble.  She stopped arguing with me & started in on my dear husband.  Of course to keep the peace he tried to convince me to “let her have her fun”, which I (regretfully) eventually did.  So, we let Grandma tell the stories of santa, we let Grandma give the gifts “from santa” and we let Grandma perpetuate the myth.  I didn’t back it, but I allowed it.  If my girls asked me if santa was real, I tried to let them talk it out – I still have not told my oldest “no dear, Grandma lied to you all these years, santa is not real” because I don’t want to be the one to have that conversation.  I don’t want to blame Grandma for it, after all, I allowed her to do it in my house.

This year though, I just can’t do it.  I can’t let the lie perpetuate.  This year we are going back to basics, we are celebrating Christmas – the real Christmas.  We are celebrating the birth of our Savior, the miracle that is the incarnation of Jesus Christ, the Messiah.  Yes, we will still exchange gifts, but we will remember that we give gifts to remember the ultimate gift that was given for us – God’s only Son in exchange for our wretched lives.  I want my girls to look at the world through the filter of Jesus, not get stuck looking in a mirror at themselves.  I want them to see the needs around them, and focus on how to help others and give generously rather than get caught up in the self-absorption that has taken over Christmas.  No, there will not be any shiny, expensive toys under the tree.  There will be some books, some clothes that they need, and something that they have said that they really want, but there will not be an over-abundance.  We just can’t afford it – economically or spiritually.

When M asked me this year if santa was real, I asked her if she really thought that he was.  I have to admit, Grandma made it pretty convincing – there were even sleigh bells one year while they were taking a bath, and fun unwrapped presents were under the tree when they got out.  She wants to believe, because Grandma told her.  She wants to believe because all of her friends at school believe.  This is something that I have to figure out, something that we will have to talk about.  I don’t want to tell her that Grandma has been lying to her, but I’m unsure how to go about explaining it to her without her coming to that conclusion.  She is still undecided.  She’s 8 now, and is starting to realize that it just doesn’t add up, but she’s not ready to give up on the idea.

My biggest fear though isn’t that she will realize that someone she loves deeply lied to her.  No, my biggest fear is that she will somehow come to believe that the true magic of Christmas – the birth of Jesus – is also something that someone made up.  That the birth of Jesus will be one of those “childish things” that gets put aside as she grows up.  No fairy tale is worth that.

So, if you are considering how to deal with the whole issue of Kris Kringle, make sure that you prayerfully look at all sides of it.  Ask God what He would have you do with your family.  And once you have decided, don’t let anyone else go against that choice with your kids – not even family.  Your kids eternity could be part of the bargain.

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